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Internet Porn
And Protecting Your Children
Internet Porn is a growing deadly problem. Often children and young people are accidentally exposed to unhealthy images. While on-line doing homework a misplaced letter can bring up an unwanted site. And, although these sites claim to be for adults, in reality they often target younger audiences in order to build long-term "customers."
With so much great information and fun activities on the Internet our children want to be on-line, but how do we keep our children safe on-line, protecting them from internet porn?
The first line of defense is education. The reason why this is important is that no matter how safe you make your home there are always the homes of friends, public libraries, and a multitude of other places where danger lurks waiting to snare our youth. If they are going looking, they will find it somewhere.
Children need to be taught by their parents what is acceptable and what is not.
They need not only words, but also they need to see the example of
their parents. For instance, if parents tell their children that
Internet Porn is wrong, but then turn around and watch movies with
explicit sex scenes their example contradicts their words - and examples
always win.
In line with this parents and even professional educators sometimes educate children in the wrong way.
Often children are taught what is wrong and what not to do. The problem with this approach is that it often incites curiosity where there may have been disinterest before. Detailed education in what not to do causes more problems than no education at all! [Side note: It is trick of sexual deviants to teach explicit sexual material to young children in schools under "sex education" and "anti-bulling" programs. Unfortunately, schools are often the most dangerous places children ever enter.]
What is the solution? Parents should talk to their children - with age appropriate language - about what a healthy sexual relationship is. They need to set the example, both with words and actions, on how to live pure. Children need to know that sex is great between a husband and wife within marriage, but is life-destroying anywhere else.
Parents need to keep the lines of communication open. It may be embarrassing at times, but parents need to honestly answer any questions their children have in age appropriate language. Like good counselors, they should not register shock, rejection, or adverse emotions no matter what their children share or admit to having done. Their children should know they have a safe place to ask any questions and get help if needed. Parents may have to take action to correct inappropriate or dangerous behaviour, but it should always be out of concern for the child not in anger, disappointment, or embarrassment.
Even through Internet porn and other dangerous activities will be less of a temptation to children who have a good relationship with their parents, anyone can be drawn into this trap. Boys and girls, men and women have all been entrapped. So while the main focus of education should be on the positive advantages of a healthy marriage sexual relationship, there should be warnings of possible dangers to avoid such as Internet porn.
In line with positive education about and examples of healthy relationships, if our children have accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour, we need to teach them about their identity in Christ Jesus. It is as we understand who God made us to be, how He sees us and who we really are that temptations lose their power. When we have a sense of destiny, of God's purpose for our lives, we are far less likely to do things which would harm it. [If you struggle with your identity in Christ yourself, invest in reading Eyes Of Honor by Dr. Jonathan Welton as well as books by Neil Anderson.]
Tips On Protecting Your Children From Internet Porn
The following are some extra tips to keep in mind where you do have control.
1. Let you children know that they cannot believe everything someone says on the Internet. People lie about their age, their location, their appearance, and just about everything else. One idea is to only allow your children to "chat" with people they know in real life. If you do allow them to "chat" with others in games or other situations make sure they know they can be lied to. ["My Internet friend would never lie to me." - not true!] Make sure they NEVER give out personal information [including places like Facebook]: age, address, phone number, even e-mail address to people they only know on-line.
2. Keep your computer in a public area of the house where people are always walking by. If they know they can be watched at any time they are less likely to deliberately go to Internet porn or other inappropriate sites. Keep in mind that while sites like You Tube have tons of great postings, they also have very suggestive and pornographic postings with a simple key stroke.
3. There are different filtering programs for Internet porn. Do some research and see which one would work the best or you. Don't forget to include yourself in the filtering. Children have a good sense of fair play. Not all sites that are filtered are bad sites, sometimes there are only one or two minor things which trigger the filter. Many of these programs have a time setting which will only allow use of the computer and/or Internet within the hours you define. There is no reason from them to have access at 1 AM!
4. Let your children know that for their own safety you will from time to time check the history [if they erase the history after you tell them - big warning sign] or user logs to see where they have been...then do it. Don't become accusing, but if you see a questionable site, visit it yourself then ask them about it. If it is inappropriate be sure to explain why [if the child is older]. Give your children the benefit of any doubt.
5. Use the preference settings on your Internet browser to block pop-ups. Internet porn sites are famous for using pop-ups. A person can accidentally click on an Internet porn site and discover that every time they try to close the window more appear. This can be embarrassing for the innocent user. [Never embarrass your child if this happens just close the entire browser or even restart the computer.]
6. Let your children know you are not against their having fun [I'm sure not ALL their friends are not allowed to do what they claim they are allowed to do], but you want them to be safe so that they can have a long and healthy life. Your child should have the confidence that they can call you for help if they run into trouble on the Internet whether it be with pop-ups, questions on a chat, or anything else.
7. Make sure your children have fun activities, like sports or nature clubs, which do not involve computers. If they are committed to healthy activities and relationships, they are far less vulnerable to predatory attacks on their lives.
For more information about Glenn Davis, see our About Glenn page or visit Glenn Davis Books.
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