Christian Bloopers

[Authors Unknown]

Christian bloopers are misprints or unintentional humour usually found in bulletins or announcements.

We need to take time to laugh.  Read these Christian bloopers...

- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.

- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.  Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.

- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.

- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door...

- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

*****

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