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"But Moses said to God, '"Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"' Ex. 3:11
Who am I? Have you ever wondered why God choose us to be a part of His family? Have you ever thought, "There are a lot of people out there who have more talents, a greater personality, more connections, more beauty, more knowledge, more..." Why did God pick you and I?
Moses wondered the same thing. Like many of us, he had started out enthusiastic and full of energy. He had seen the problems. He knew all the answers. He set out to be God's man of faith and power for this crisis hour. He failed and fled for his life. For the next 40 years he lived in the desert doing nothing but looking after sheep. His battle scars from fighting his battles in God's name were many. Those were years of regret, disillusionment, and discouragement. He had blown God's plan, others were suffering for it.
We can ask the "Who Am I?" question for several reasons.
We can ask, like Moses, because we have experienced defeat and failure. We become introverted and give into self-pity. Moses brought this question up because he did not want to do what God was asking him to do. If God had asked him 40 years earlier, he would have been excited. Now he did not even want to try. He began making excuses. Sometimes we are filled with self-pity or we just don't want to do it. We try to pass on the assignment to others...sometimes God will let us miss His best. Sometimes He moves on to a willing volunteer. In the case of Moses, God gave him no option, although he did lose some of his privilege to his brother Aaron. Obviously, this is not a correct reason for asking the question.
Some people ask, "Who Am I?" out of curiosity. They look at themselves and wonder what there was in them that made God choose them. They may or may not come up with an answer to satisfy themselves. If they do come up with an answer, it will be the wrong one. Sometimes they will then try to do good works to show God He made a good choice or to stay on God's good side. They are looking at themselves and the answer is not found there. Again, this is a wrong reason to ask the question.
Other people just stand in awe as they ask "Who Am I?" They have come to the place that they realize that there is nothing in us which would motivate God to choose us. We are totally depraved without one redeeming quality from the view point of God. It is humbling to think God choose us - who were rebels and God-haters - because of Who He is not because of who we are [as we see in The Love Covenants]. It is totally His grace, not our deeds. All we can do is say, "Thank you."
The question "Who Am I?" should cause our hearts to swell up with thanksgiving as we realize that the only reason we were chosen is because God chose to love us. It is a decision He made because of Who He is. We didn't earn it and we can't lose it. We say "Thank you," and then show our gratitude by learning to walk with God.
We no longer live in doubt, self-pity, guilty or condemnation. God chooses to loves us...and that is enough.
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