Would you like to see what we have written on a subject? Use the search below.

[If you purchase anything on this site, I may make a commission. Disclosure Policy]

Biblical Role
Of A Wife

Like a man, a woman has many roles in life. However, being a wife is her primary role under God. The Biblical role of a wife is the reason she was originally created.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Gen. 2:18

Sitemap - Newsletter - Statement Of Faith - Donate
Follow us on social media for daily Scripture comments and more at MeWe, Facebook or YouTube.

Biblical Role Of A Wife:
Primary Responsibility

The Biblical role of a wife is more important than that of a mother. The role of a mother is vital, but it grows out of and is under the ministry of being a "help meet." This does not mean that a single woman is incomplete. If God asks an adult woman to remain single - either for a season or permanently - in a special way, He becomes her Husband.

There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit... 1 Cor. 7:34

[Side note: The above verse is not saying that sex within marriage is wrong, an inferior way, or "dirty." The main meaning of holy is being set apart to God. It is simply saying that the unmarried woman is totally separated to God.]

Things to consider: God made the husband - wife relationship to be the primary human relationship. It will last long after the children have gone to build lives of their own. Investing in this relationship is investing in the future. Make sure to have special times with your husband alone. Dating doesn't stop when you get married - it just focuses on one person. Knowledge and love of each other should grow through time, even in the ups and downs of emotions and life.

Biblical Role Of A Wife:
A Helper

As we have seen, a wife is called to be a helper to her husband. Her husband cannot accomplish his God-given mission without her. She is a vital part of the team God placed together in a Christian marriage partnership. She should be aware of the vision God has given her husband and her place in it. A Godly woman has her place of authority and honour in bringing God's vision to pass in the sphere of influence in which He has placed them.

This does not mean that a Christian couple has to follow the stereotype of the wife staying at home and looking after the kids while the husband goes out to work. That may be the case, as it was for most of my marriage, but it doesn't have to be that way. The wife may have a career outside the home, as we will see below. There is a certain structure, but within that structure is a lot of room for flexibility. The objective should be for the husband and wife, as individuals, as a couple, and as family leaders, to live for the glory of God, the expansion of His kingdom, and the benefit of each other.

Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you. Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves. None of you should think only of his own affairs, but should learn to see things from other people’s point of view. Let Christ be your example of humility. Let Christ himself be your example as to what your attitude should be. Phil. 2:2-5, Philips

Possible ways to implement this: Communication is the key. Hopefully, both husband and wife had clear communication of basic goals and desires before marriage. Either way, talking about and listening to goals and desires should be a constant habit. As God designed it to work, the wife is more focused on creating a loving, safe, and secure home for the family [even if she has a career outside the family], while the husband is more focused on achieving goals outside the home. Harmony comes in both partners understanding and appreciating their differences. A wise wife will encourage and help her husband reach legitimate goals, and a wise husband will make sure his wife and family feel loved, safe and provided for.

Biblical Role Of A Wife:
A Counsellor

husband and wife sitting at a table in a autumn setting

She is to be a counsellor. She is to give her husband sound, Biblical advice. Eve acted as a counsellor, which was her role, but she gave evil advice. Adam knew the advice was wrong, but he followed it anyway. The same thing happened with Ahab and Jezebel [1 Kings 21:25]. A woman can have a great influence on her husband's decisions for better or worse. Sometimes she may not be able to explain to her husband why she thinks a course of action is right or wrong. A husband should always take the advice of his wife seriously. Many a husband in pride has ignored his marriage partner's "feelings" to great financial or personal loss.

And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Luke 1:28

God spoke to a wife-to-be, Mary, about the coming of the Messiah before He spoke to Joseph. We see the same thing in Judges 13. The Angel of the Lord came and spoke to the wife before her husband.

In Judges 13, Manoah was fearful because of God's revelation. His marriage partner was able to logically answer her husband's fears.

And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have seen God. But his wife said unto him, If the LORD were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have shewed us all these things, nor would He have told us at this time such things as these. Judges 13:22-23

As a counsellor, a wife should be careful to maintain her relationship with God and knowledge of the Word of God. [The husband, of course, should also have a priority of knowing God as he is directly under Christ.] Many times, a woman is more spiritually sensitive [Matt. 15:28]. That is a blessing...but also a danger - which is one reason why she must submit to her husband. She may also expand her knowledge by studying specific areas that her husband is likely to need counsel.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Pr. 31:30

A wife is also a helper. She assists her husband in accomplishing God's mission for their lives. She has authority under her husband. The two partners in marriage are to be united in one purpose: serving Christ in whatever way He was designed.

Possible ways to implement this: Always look after your own devotional life with Jesus. It is easy to let it be set aside by the pressures of the day. You need this time to gain spiritual strength. Then grow your knowledge and experience with the Word of God, and draw on the wisdom of your life experiences and research to provide solid, timely advice.

The Biblical Role Of A Wife:
Lover

Sex is a powerful part of a marriage and should be enjoyed by both partners. It is easy to become overwhelmed and tired with looking after the children, managing the home, and perhaps juggling a job. Yet it is important to carve out intimate time. It may take creativity, but it is a vital part of building a successful marriage.

"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Gen. 2:25

"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." 1 Cor. 7:4

Possible ways to implement this: Consider your schedule and your husband's schedule. When are you both most likely to be together and not exhausted? Morning? Afternoon? Night? If you both have hectic schedules, do finances permit an overnight babysitter, a nice evening out and a night in a motel free from distractions? Every couple will have to consider their own unique circumstances, but you will need to work something out.

The Biblical Role Of A Wife:
Encourager

In a healthy marriage, words of encouragement and affection should come easily. Don't just assume your husband knows how you appreciate and value him; tell him and show him. In more difficult marriages, try to find something you appreciate each day and tell him. Is he a good provider? Does he care for the children? Did he remember to take out the garbage?

Proverbs 31 Woman

woman holding a loaf of bread in thankfulness

Proverbs 31 is the classic picture of a wife in the position God has designed for her. It should be noted that everyone has different talents and abilities. The idea is one of partnership, hard work, and diligence, not that every wife should be a real estate agent or businesswoman.

What are some quick points we see about this honoured marriage partner?

1. Vs. 10 She is more valuable to her husband than any other person or thing on the planet. Many a husband has lost his marriage partner or hurt his marriage because he has failed to appreciate the wonderful gift from God that she really is. A Godly woman is a treasure to be sought [Pr. 12:4, 18:22, 19:14]. If a woman wants a Godly husband, she should make sure she is the kind of Godly woman that such men seek.

2. Vs. 11-12 She is trustworthy. Her husband can go to work or attend to other matters of life, confident that his partner is working competently and diligently for their mutual benefit. No matter what she is doing, he knows that she is doing her best and not wasting her time or their resources.

3. Vs. 13, 19, 27 She is not afraid of work to provide for her family. If she is not talented at making clothes, she may search the second-hand stores for good-quality clothes for her family. New things are nice, but especially if funds are tight, she is creative at getting the best for her husband and family at a reasonable cost.

4. Vs. 14, 18 She knows where the food and other sales are. She also knows if it will cost more in gas and time than the savings for travelling from store to store. She knows how to find nutritious food to keep her family healthy. [An app or website like Fipp can list all the sales flyers in your area in one place, making comparison shopping easier.]

5. Vs. 15, 21 She is diligent in looking after everyone under her care. She is concerned that they are treated fairly.

6. Vs. 16, 24 She has a good business sense. She knows how to turn a good, fair profit. She may operate a home business, plant a garden, or do any of a million other things to help and strengthen her home. As was said above, not everyone has the same ability, but she has a keen sense of value whether buying or selling.

7. Vs. 20 She is compassionate and willing to help those in trouble. She is not so wrapped up in her husband and family that she cannot see others' needs. She can see the big picture and her family's place in it.

8. Vs. 22 She does not neglect herself. She knows how to care for her appearance and dress beautifully.

9. Vs. 23 Her husband is a well-respected man of honour. He is known in his area of influence as a wise and trustworthy man.

10. Vs. 25-26 She is wise and knows how to control her tongue. She is an encourager and a builder of her family and others. [Pr. 14:1]

11. Vs. 28-30 Her children and her husband respect and admire her.

12. Vs. 31 She has earned many blessings and rewards and should be allowed to enjoy them to the fullest. A husband should be delighted when his wife receives recognition and praise.

13. She can have a position of ministry in the church. [Ex. 15:20, Judges 4:4, 2 Kings 22:14, Luke 2:36, Ex. 35:22-29, Phil. 4:3]

What About Submission?

This is sometimes used as a tool to manipulate and control. What does God really mean by submission?

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Eph. 5:22 [Eph. 5:24, Col. 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1]

Does this mean she is a servant - or a slave - to her husband's whims? No. The husband is to be in submission to Christ and His Word. [There is never a time when any human being is not to be in submission to someone!] The wife is a co-ruler with him. They are a team, a partnership for building the Kingdom of God. God designed them to be interdependent [1 Cor. 11:11-12], not independent. The female marriage partner is like the Vice-President. She has her own realm of authority in the family under her husband's direction. God has a line of authority, and her husband is ultimately responsible directly to God for everything that goes on under his care. It is teamwork; however, someone must have the final say and responsibility. God has chosen this to be the husband. His wife should recognize this heavy responsibility and help him bear it.

Does a wife have to obey her husband if she disagrees with his decision[s]? As with any partnership, every effort should be made to reach an ethical agreement or compromise. However, if an agreement cannot be reached, a Godly lady must follow her husband's decision, provided it does not violate the Word of God. If the decision is in direct violation of God's Word, then the higher priority of following God requires respectful disobedience. [There is never a time when a wife can treat her husband with disrespect or contempt.]

What happens if the wife is married to an ungodly man?

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 1 Cor. 7:14

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation [Old English for entire lifestyle] of the wives... 1 Peter 3:1

The non-Christian husband must still be submitted to. Sometimes wives try to win their ungodly husbands to Christ by criticism, "witnessing", trying to force him to go to church, etc. Loving submission - as to Christ - and a Godly lifestyle are the best witnesses. Only if the husband is committing a Biblical divorce offence does that become an option. [See Divorce: God's Protection For The Innocent]. No woman is required to be submissive to an abusive husband.

One further note: A wife [specific woman] is to be submissive to her husband [specific man]. It is not saying that a woman is to be submissive to every man. [Num. 26:6]

What does a wife have the right to expect from her husband? - trustworthy man of God and honour [Mal. 2:14, Eph. 5:23] - protection - financially, physically, emotionally [Eph. 5:25] - priority relationship [ Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:5] - love [Col. 3:19, Eph. 5: 25, 33] - sex [Gen. 2:25, Ex. 21:10, 1 Cor. 7:2-4] - provision [Ex. 21:10] - consideration [1 Peter 3:7] - respect [no belittling remarks] [1 Peter 3:7, Deut. 22:16-19] - co-operation [1 Peter 3:7].

Note: The many teachings of Scripture on how Christians are to treat each other have a special application to marriage. Also note, Men are not the only ones who struggle with porn. Sometimes women, especially in an unsatisfying marriage relationship, struggle as well. If this is you, consider Covenant Eyes as part of your strategy in defeating this powerful temptation. Also, places like Covenant Eyes and XXXChurch can be a support for you if your husband is struggling with porn addiction.

For more information about Glenn Davis, see our About Glenn page or visit Glenn Davis Books.

Follow us on social media for daily Scripture comments and more at MeWe, Facebook or YouTube.
Sitemap - Newsletter - Statement Of Faith - Donate

Please note: We no longer have the commenting feature [maybe again in the future]. Joshua Institute students who have questions or comments on their courses can use the contact button and mention the course name and lesson number in the email. Thank you. Glenn