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Divorce:
God's Protection For The Innocent

Divorce is controversial among Christians. Some churches do not allow it except for adultery [and then only reluctantly]. They keep people who have experienced marriage failure out of leadership and often treat them as second-class citizens. Many times, they refuse to allow remarriage, forcing the person to live a life of singleness. They are hard and legalistic.

Other churches go to the opposite extreme. They allow divorce without a second thought. Influenced by humanism, they lower the standards in their pursuit of benefiting the person without regard for Biblical ethics. They are compromising and liberal.

What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage? This is one topic where people tend to look at one or two verses and build their entire belief system on them. [We will examine that verse a little further down.] As with any subject, we must consider the Bible's comprehensive teaching on the topic. Every verse is important in giving a complete picture of a subject. This topic is no different.

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Note:

According to Bradford Wilcox, a leading sociologist at the University of Virginia and Director of the National Marriage Project, conservative Protestants are 35% less likely to divorce than Americans who have no religious connection, and conservative Catholics are 31% less likely. However, people who claim to be Christians but rarely attend church are 20% more likely to divorce than secular Americans. Quoted from LifeSiteNews.

God's Original Design

What was God's original design?

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen. 2:23-24

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:6-9

God's design was for one man and one woman to be together for their entire life after the marriage ceremony. That is how things are intended to work. Problems and difficulties are meant to be worked out, and as partners grow closer to God and to each other through life's challenges, they become stronger. God has a purpose for each family and each couple. Ending the marriage when things get difficult should not be considered an option.

Sin

So what happened? Why did divorce come in? Under what situations is it legitimate, and when is it selfish and sinful?

And they said, "Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away." And Jesus answered and said unto them, "For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept." Mark 10:4-5

Jesus tells us why divorce came in - sin. Sin came in and hardened hearts, so marriage partners seek to end their marriages. Essentially, sin kills. All marriage terminations happen because of sin, which brings death. Actually, the most common form of divorce is physical death [Rom. 7:2-3]. When one partner dies, the surviving partner is divorced from them and free to remarry. We don't often think of that as a divorce, but it is one type.

Death Of A Marriage

man and woman separated by lightning bolt

However, it is possible for a marriage to be killed while both partners are alive. Marriage is a covenant. Covenants can be broken, i.e. killed. This is one reason why ending a marriage has a tremendous emotional impact on all involved - a death has occurred. So what kills a marriage?

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. Deut. 24:1

If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money. Ex. 21:10-11

Deut. looks at it from the husband's point of view, while Exodus looks at it from the woman's point of view.

The husband's reason for ending the marriage is given as "uncleanness" in his wife. This term is difficult to understand. Obviously, it is not referring to adultery since that was a capital offence which would have automatically ended the marriage. The Hebrew word refers to nakedness, nudity, indecency and improper behaviour. It seems that if there is rejection of Christian morality and respectful actions, there is a reason for ending the marriage. Paul seems to confirm this in 1 Corinthians 7:12-13. A person is not to end a marriage with an unbelieving spouse if they are willing to live at peace. This implies that if the spouse is unwilling to live at peace but hinders or torments the other spouse in their walk with God, then there is a legitimate reason for ending the marriage.

The Exodus portion, while speaking specifically to a person who marries a second wife [which is not part of the original design], shows us what a wife has a legitimate right to expect from her husband. She has a right to food and clothes - i.e the basic necessities of life. She also has the right to the "duty of marriage." In other words, she has a right to a loving, caring, sexual relationship. Any man who can provide these things and does not has forfeited the privilege of having a wife. No woman is forced to be married to a lazy man who will not care for her to the best of his ability. [No woman has the right to demand luxuries which they cannot afford either.]

Since physical death ends a marriage, any offence that was a capital offence in the Old Testament is a legitimate cause for ending a marriage in societies which, in rebellion to God, do not enforce the death penalty for those offences. No person is forced to be married to a criminal or abuser.

When Is Divorce An Option?

In order for the termination of a marriage to be Biblically legitimate:

1. A divorceable offence must have been committed. [Note: Loss of the emotion of love or "incompatibility" is not an acceptable reason. There must be an actual, provable offence.]

2. The offence must be able to be proved with the same type of evidence as required for a criminal case. [Divorce is a type of criminal case - one partner is being charged with murdering a marriage. They are presumed innocent until proven guilty.]

3. The accusing party must be innocent. If both have committed adultery, for example, then neither one can end the marriage based on adultery, for there is no innocent party. If, after a person is cleansed and forgiven by the Blood of Christ, and the other person continues to live in adultery, then there is an innocent party and ending the marriage becomes a possibility.

Ending a marriage is never required. Some people have had legitimate reasons to end their marriage but have chosen instead to work on rebuilding it. Some have seen a remarkable resurrection and gone on to a terrific marriage. A divorceable offence makes ending the marriage an option, and no guilt is attached to the person who seeks a legitimate divorce. It protects an innocent person from a sinful situation. [It may surprise some to learn that God considers Himself to be divorced when He put away sinful Israel - Is. 50:1, Jer. 3:8]

Words Of Jesus

Finally, let's examine Jesus' well-known words on this subject.

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt. 5:32

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt. 19:9

This is where some jump up and say, "See! Adultery is the only reason for ending a marriage. Jesus said so."

To which I reply, "At least read the verse properly."

Yes, Jesus's word is the final Word on any topic. Jesus did not give adultery as the reason for divorce. He used the word "fornication." If He had meant adultery, He would have said adultery. Fornication is a broader term. Certainly, it emphasizes sexual sin, but it can also encompass a range of sins which separate from God. For example, God considered idolatry [2 Chr. 21:11] and forsaking Him for the world [Is. 23:17, Ez. 16:29] to be fornication.

Jesus is the Messiah. As such, He championed the Law of God [Matt. 5:18-19]. IF Jesus at any time broke the Law, promoted breaking the Law, or set it aside, then He would have been in rebellion against the declared Word of God and could not have been our Sacrifice. Therefore, when Jesus used the word "fornication" as the reason for ending a marriage, He must have meant it to include the entire, balanced Old Testament teaching on divorce. Certainly, He meant to speak against the misunderstanding and easy marriage termination of His day [and ours], but, on the other hand, He did not intend to limit the Law of God through Moses to simple adultery.

This short report cannot answer all the questions. We examine this subject in Biblical Law.

Just some other quick notes:

1. Ending the marriage is not Biblically legitimate when both parties in a remarriage are involved in adultery.

2. Since we live in an ungodly society, once a Biblical reason for ending the marriage has been proven, a person can seek whatever means the society allows for ending the marriage. I.E., No-fault divorce is not Biblical; however, if Biblical reasons are proven, then a no-fault divorce may be the way to present it in a secular court.

3. Since terminating a marriage is a death, the offending party has no right to any rights, privileges, or assets from the marriage. In other words, the innocent party should get custody of the children and all the assets. In our secular courts, this is often ignored. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with the innocent party seeking as much as the courts will allow. Important note: This must not be done in a spirit of anger, bitterness, resentment, etc.

4. This report should not be seen as recommending the termination of a marriage. Ending a marriage is never an easy answer, and God is the God of Resurrection. That which is dead can live again. This report shows when divorce becomes a legitimate option for an innocent spouse. If the divorce option is taken, based on Biblical grounds, then no guilt or penalty is attached to the innocent party. As far as God is concerned, the guilty party has died to the marriage, and the innocent party is as free as if it had been a physical death. It is a tragedy that our courts [and often our churches] do not recognize and support this.

Remarriage

A Biblically legitimate divorce is a death certificate to the marriage covenant. As far as God is concerned, the guilty party has died, and the surviving spouse stands before Him just as if a spouse had died physically. This means the innocent spouse is free to remarry if they choose. No restrictions should apply beyond what God requires for every marriage. The church or anyone else should not place any guilt or shame on them. They are free from the first marriage. If we consider, as the Bible does, that a legitimate divorce is like a physical death, then remarriage becomes a non-issue.

Glenn Davis is a Christian author and Bible teacher whose work draws on more than 40 years of study, writing, and local church teaching. He has written 700+ articles, created five Bible courses, published three books, and shared 100+ Bible videos on YouTube. Readers can find his books on Amazon, follow his teaching on YouTube or visit Glenn Davis Books. Away from the keyboard, he enjoys time with family, reading, walking, and board or card games.

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