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Living Guilt Free

By Glenn Davis

Guilt is something we all face. We have all done things we are ashamed of. We walk around feeling terrible for what we have done at times. Sometimes, we bury it and pretend it isn't there; other times, it rides just on the surface, colouring everything we do and say. Explosive emotions, health problems, and spiritual isolation can all have their root cause here. What are we to do?  Is living guilt free possible?

Living Guilt Free:
Four Levels Of Guilt

Often, when dealing with guilt, we start at the wrong place. We tend to start at the middle or end of the problem, our specific act for which we feel shame. Unfortunately, if we don't start at the right place, we will never truly rid ourselves of guilt, and we will never learn the secret of living guilt free. We may bury it and try to forget it, but it will always be just below the surface of our lives, waiting to burst out.

So, where do we start in our quest to genuinely rid ourselves of life-destroying shame? It all begins with God. Only in Jesus Christ can we be free from guilt. Any other method is only a deceptive covering of our wrongdoing, which will ultimately fail.

We feel guilty because we are guilty. We stand condemned and guilty on four levels. First, we are born with guilt before God because of Adam's rebellion - called original sin. Second, for the specific act that we did, we stand guilty before God. Third, for the specific act that we did, we stand guilty before the person we hurt. Fourth, for the specific act we committed, we stand guilty before all the people affected by it.

Can we live free from shame in all four areas? The answer is YES, but we have to address each area in the proper order. Most people start with level three. Sometimes they may consider level four, but levels one and two are often ignored. Yet, if we don't deal with levels one and two, we will never learn the secret of living guilt free. So let's look at all four areas to cleanse our lives of guilt.

Living Guilt Free:
1. The Guilt Of Original Sin

1. In the Garden of Eden, Adam stood as the representative of the human race. We reap the result of his actions - for better or worse. When Adam rebelled against God, we all became guilty of rebellion. Before anyone condemns Adam, every time we knowingly sin, we agree that Adam made the right decision. We all stand before God guilty and condemned as rebels. This guilt can only be erased in Jesus Christ. Just as Adam represented us and brought us all into sin and shame, Jesus represents those who believe in Him and brings us into right living and freedom from guilt. I am not going to spend any more time on this, although it is the most important and foundational area, because most of my readers are already Christians. They know they have been forgiven for original sin. If you are not a committed Christian, then you will want to discover the joy of knowing God for yourself before you read any further. You may wish to refer to our report, What Is Missing In Life, or take the short course Reality Check. Without a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ, we cannot successfully deal with guilt on any level.

Living Guilt Free:
2. Right With God

2. If we have dwelt with original sin, through Jesus Christ, we are ready to move to level two. Level two begins to examine the guilt we feel for specific acts we have committed. We start with the fact that we feel guilty because we have done something wrong,  which has hurt someone. [I know some people use shame to manipulate innocent people into feeling guilty, but in this article, I am dealing with the guilt that comes from a real offence.]

In level two, we recognize that EVERY offence is first an offence against God before it is an offence against those hurt or affected by it. Why is that? Because the universe and everything [including the people] in it belongs to God. Any offence [sin] violates God's rights in His creation.

"For the earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof." [1 Cor. 10:26, KJV]

"Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die." [Ez. 18:4, KJV]

This is why David could, after he had committed adultery and murder, say:

"You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair." [Ps. 51:4, The Message]

In order to be living guilt free for a specific act [sin], we must recognize that it hurt God before it hurt anyone else. We must come to God for forgiveness. It doesn't matter how great or small the offence was; forgiveness must come from God first.

Remember, God is holy and perfect. Even the slightest sin is an insult to His very nature. Any disobedience from the revealed will of God in the Word of God is an act of High Treason against the King of kings and the Lord of lords. We all stand condemned and guilty for small and large offences alike.

"As it is written: 'There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.'" [Rom. 3:10-12, NIV]

So, when we realize we have committed a specific act of rebellion and feel shame, what can we do to get God's forgiveness?

Part of forgiveness, as we will see below, involves repentance and restitution. The bad news is that it is impossible for us to make restitution to God. When we violate Him - even in the smallest way - we can never make it right. The good news is that Jesus Christ made restitution on our behalf for every offence, large or small, past, present, or future. This is why Christ had to suffer and die. Without that, there can be no forgiveness. This is also why those who have not come to Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, taking care of original sin as in point one above, can never have the forgiveness of God for specific sins.

Returning to the previous question, when we, as Christians, sin and need forgiveness from God, how do we receive it? Ask. Ask in faith. Ask in the faith of Christ's perfect work on Calvary. It is because of the blood of Christ that forgiveness is possible not just for original sin, but also for each and every specific sin. It is the only way to receive forgiveness from God.

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." [1 John 1:7-9, KJV]

What happens when we ask God for His forgiveness? He does. He looks at the restitution Jesus made and says, "It more than covers your offence. You are forgiven."

It is that simple. When we have God's forgiveness, we are released from guilt and shame.  We have discovered the secret to living guilt free before God.  We don't have to be embarrassed to enter God's presence. We don't have to suffer through days, weeks, or even years of regret. We don't have to run from God; we need to run to God. Feelings of guilt and condemnation are a trick of Satan to hinder or ruin our relationship with God after we have asked for forgiveness.

"It's urgent that you listen carefully to this: Anyone here who believes what I am saying right now and aligns himself with the Father, who has in fact put me in charge, has at this very moment the real, lasting life and is no longer condemned to be an outsider. This person has taken a giant step from the world of the dead to the world of the living." [John 5:24, The Message]

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." [Rom. 8:1, KJV]

What happens if, after repenting and asking God's forgiveness, we still feel guilty? We need to recognize it for what it is: a lie of the devil. We need to remind ourselves that God has forgiven us because of Jesus - it has nothing to do with us - therefore, we are innocent. The feelings may persist for a while as Satan tempts us to doubt the goodness of God and the effectiveness of the Blood of Christ. Do not be deceived. After receiving forgiveness, we are no longer guilty before God and do not live in shame.

What about habitual sin or addictions? God's forgiveness is the same. The Blood of Jesus Christ is more powerful than any habitual sin or addiction. This does not excuse us for sinning. For the Christian, there is no reason to sin. With habitual sin and addictions, we need to develop a God-honouring strategy to defeat them. God has called and empowered us to be overcomers. We may need the help or counsel of others. Do not believe the lie of Satan that you are trapped in this sin. Nonsense. The Blood of Christ can break any bondage, but we must put forth effort as well. We cannot afford to be passive with any sin in our lives.

Special note: If we harbour unforgiveness toward others, we cannot truly ask God for forgiveness. No matter how much they have hurt us, we have hurt God more. If we do not forgive them, God does not hear our own request for forgiveness. We may need God's power to forgive. We can declare with our mouths before God that we have forgiven them and ask God to work it in our hearts. It can be a significant step of faith. But we cannot hard-heartedly withhold forgiveness and expect God to forgive us. Remember, their offence was primarily against God, not us. If God is willing to forgive them, we should also be willing to forgive them.

"The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?' The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that's exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy." [Matt. 18:32-35, The Message]

Living Guilt Free
3. Restitution

3. Many times, our specific sin is not only against God but also against another person. When we hurt God by hurting another person, we often don't even consider that we have hurt God. Our focus is only on the impact we see on the person we hurt. We feel guilty because we have hurt someone else. It may be in a small way or a big way. We may tend to avoid that person to escape our guilt or shame. Or we may try to make others think it was their fault so we can avoid our own sense of guilt.

How can we apply the secret of living guilt free before those we have hurt?  We must have taken steps one and two. If we haven't made things right with God, then we are not ready to make things right with people.

Assuming we have taken steps one and two, what then? How do we get forgiveness so we can live without guilt and shame? Two overriding principles apply in every case, although how they are carried out will depend on the offence. The overarching principles are repentance and restitution.

Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord GOD. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin." Ez. 18:30, KJV

"Go and do something to show that your hearts are really changed." Matt. 3:8, Phillips

Repentance is not just saying we are sorry for our actions. Repentance involves turning and going in the opposite direction. In other words, we are not only sorry for our actions but also make a deliberate commitment not to repeat the offence. We need the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through our lives, which is impossible unless we have taken step one. He can bring true conviction [not condemnation/guilt] and repentance.

Normally, part of the process of repentance is going to the person we have hurt. We confess to them our guilt for what we did, demonstrate our genuine repentance through restitution [see below], and ask them for forgiveness.

What if the person we offended refuses to forgive us? If we have honestly completed steps one through three, then we have done all we can. We have God's forgiveness. Their refusal places responsibility on them. They have actually committed a sin before God by failing to forgive. In this case, we must leave it in God's hands, pray for them, and realize that we are forgiven and no longer have to walk under guilt in any way.

Above, I said that we usually go to the person and ask for forgiveness. In some cases, such as violent crime, we may actually hurt the person more and bring further fear into their lives by contact with them or their family members. In these cases, we receive forgiveness from God and may have to demonstrate our repentance and restitution anonymously through others or perhaps to someone totally different. Our primary concern is not our own feelings but on preventing any further injury to the one we harmed.

Receiving forgiveness is not possible without restitution. Restitution replaces whatever we damaged in a person's life, plus a fine for our actions. It seeks to restore the person's life to its state before our sinful actions. The Bible lays down the principles that govern our restitution. These are not suggestions but God's command to receive forgiveness. If the law of our nation does not require this, we must do it voluntarily.

The easiest example is when the offence involves theft.

"If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep...If the theft be certainly found in his hand alive, whether it be ox, or ass, or sheep; he shall restore double." Ex. 22:1, 4

Here, we see that restitution can vary depending on what was taken. If we have already disposed of the stolen property, restitution involves repaying 4-5 times the value we took. If we can return the stolen property in the same condition, then the restitution fine is to be paid double. For example, if we stole $10.00, we would repay $20.00. Simple. Accidental damage involves replacement plus a 20% fine. For instance, if I am at your house and accidentally break a plate, I need to replace it with a plate of equal value and pay you an additional 20% of its value for the inconvenience. By the way, you do not have the right to refuse my restitution. That is the same as refusing to give forgiveness. It doesn't matter how big or small the item is.

Another example:

"And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed: If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote him be quit: only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shall cause him to be thoroughly healed." Ex. 21:18-19

This is where two men get into a fight, and one is injured. The one who did the injury is responsible for all the injured man's medical expenses and lost wages. This also applies if we accidentally injure another person, such as in a car accident. Insurance can sometimes be purchased to protect us against such potential accidents. This does not apply in the case of self-defence, where another person attacks one. A person is allowed to use lethal force in self-defence [and defence of one's property] without consequence.

Many offences, such as murder, rape, kidnapping, and adultery, were so deep that the Bible prescribes capital punishment as the method of restitution. In nations which are in rebellion against God and do not enforce His law, what do we do if we commit one of these capital offences? Suicide is not an option. In criminal cases, such as murder and rape, we need to turn ourselves in to the law and face the punishment for the crime. It is a step in allowing our victims closure. We should also offer voluntary financial compensation.

In other cases, such as abortion and adultery, our offences are not crimes in the eyes of humanistic law,  so we cannot turn ourselves in. What do we do? It may involve voluntary financial compensation. It may, in the case of adultery, include allowing the spouse an uncontested divorce [if desired]. It may involve a special consecration of our lives to God to help others. God may put something else or something additional on our hearts.  Whatever we do, it must seek to restore in as great a measure as possible what we took. In other words, our focus is on the victim's healing, not on our own feelings.

Finally, we do not do the acts of restitution out of guilt. We DO NOT offer restitution as a method of earning forgiveness. Restitution is a vital part of the forgiveness process. Our motivation is to obey God and restore as much of what we took as possible. If our motivation is simply because we feel guilty, then our focus is really only on ourselves. Our actions then will not please God, help those we hurt, or remove our own guilt,

[These two principles also apply when we seek forgiveness from God in step two. We must repent - if we have no intention of abandoning our sin, we cannot receive forgiveness. And Jesus Christ made the restitution before God on our behalf.]

Living Guilt Free:
4. Other People

4. Often, our offence affects not only God and the person we directly offended but also others. Here, we must distinguish between those genuinely hurt by our actions and those who merely "pick up" the offence as busybodies. Anyone who is a genuine victim of our actions must be treated with repentance and restitution to the degree they were impacted. The busybodies can be ignored. It is not their problem. They are simply interfering in a matter that is not their concern.

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